How dare you say we are bombing things! Sure, we may not have the highest standards for shipping and handling, and sure, maybe we are so worried about getting the job done on time we just throw the packages out of planes moving at high velocity over our customers! But that does not mean we are BOMBING them. Seriously, we do not have much budget for this operation, and we are trying to save as much money as possible, and you making fun of our delivery system just makes me sad and angry.
I mean, look. Do you have any idea how much fuel costs? You know how much more it would cost our operation if we landed and then walked up to our customers and politely said 'oh, here is the bomb you ordered. Enjoy it!' Ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. You are talking about tripling our overhead.
Yes, I DO have over 37,000 order invoices for Iraq. What, you think we are just indiscrimately dropping our packages all over the country? No, of course not! We have very specific orders!
Look, for instance, right here:
Delivery of 4 MK-87 High Drag General Purpose Explosives to
Saddam's Palace
1 Saddam Way
Iraq
C/O Saddam Hussein
SPECIAL DELIVERY INSTRUCTIONS: Please deliver ASAP. In fact, it is preferable you perform an unguided airdrop of this package directly onto my roof. Further, please do put my delivery in any sort of packaging, as I am very eager to use it, and want to waste no time.
See? See?
What do you think we are, idiots?
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