My Idea For The No-hassle Undercarriage Temperature System Has Been Stolen!

Recently, my good friend / bitter enemy Theo* recommended ways to avoid the summer heat. Many of them were good ideas. I, too, am fond of the cessation of all movement, including swallowing and blinking, as a means to cool down. What he failed to mention, however, is the added benefit of the endothermic evaporation process of all the drool that winds up covering one's body when undertaking the no-movement approach to heat escape. But, alas, I am getting off track.

Theo stole my idea for the No-hassle Undercairrage Temperature System (patent pending), or NUTS for short. It consists of a form fitted high temp high pressure injection molded vessel, into which a coolant, such as propylene glycol (or, ice water [in fact, I recommend ice water]) is placed. Then, one sets it on the ground (carefully!), removes one's pants, and lowers one's testicles into the vessel. Instant gratification, I assure you.

Theo, I demand my invention back.

...

It is extremely hot.

*Also, he spelled refrigerate wrong.