Scientists: We Must Return To The Moon

That's right folks. CNN.com reported that exact headline. I imagine the story went something like this:

Scientist 1: We must return to the Moon! Immediately! As you can see, we are deep into preparations.

Scientist 2: Jesus, cool it Adrian. If you hadn't forgotten your damn wallet up there, we wouldn't have to go back at all.

Adrian: ... Fuck you, Steve. Fuck you.

Reporter: And that just about sums it up for science! Coming up at 10: The writings of John Malatich, and how he explains the Sun shines because it is a solid sphere of gold, held in place by Jesus.