Don't get me wrong, I am really thankful you saved me. When I fell off that billboard I thought I was a total goner, and then you just swung in plucked me out of the air like some infantile angel of mercy. At first I didn't know what had happened, I thought you might be death or a ghost or my friend Theo trying to scare them crap out of me then I realized, no, it wasn't any of those. It was at just about the time you set me down on the ground, when I had started to get my senses back, I noticed that you were about 14 inches tall, though you seemed to be able to fly with ease, walking was beyond your physical capacity, and you had covered me nearly uniformly in your saliva. I am not even quite sure how you did that, but was it really necessary? I mean, hey, call me the asshole for looking a gift horse in the mouth.
Thanks again, young hero.
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