Pickup lines have been mocked by many. I don't need to get into the history or details of pickup lines, but rather, I would like to offer a criticism of the entire idea.
Most pickup lines are based around the idea that a line can be used to get a girl to sleep with you. Therefore, they are designed to provoke eroticism, sexuality, etc., and, in essence, pickup lines are a screen of sorts, sorting out the willing and the unwilling.
I argue, however, there is a much more important screening process that needs to occur. While it is important to sort out the willing from the unwilling or uninterested, it is much, much more important to sort out the relatively sane from the batshit crazy. Here are the pickup lines I recommend:
"Hey baby, you aren't on any antidepressants, are you?"
"Yo gorgeous, does mental illness run in your family?"
"Hey honey, if you had a dollar for every time you have had a major depressive episode, how many dollars would you have?"
"Hotstuff, I was just noticing you from across the bar, and, well, I couldn't help but wonder, have you ever been institutionalized?"
Trust me. If they stick around after that, not only are they probably sane*, but are almost certainly willing to get it on.
*They might still be crazy.
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