His name is Edouard san Pedro Rodriguez. He is very dear to me. Now, with the plentitude of gila monsters running about campus willy nilly, one might say, “well, RealityGrip, that is what you get for trying domesticate one of the natural pests of New England! Why not have a squirrel or skunk! Good luck figuring out which one he is!” He is quite easy to recognize, I assure you. I have tattooed my initials, RG, on the tender side of his right fore-claw. In fact, if you were to chance upon him, odds are you will be able to identify him by this unique mark, as his most common form of greeting is to lunge at the eyes with his forepaws. A truly endearing display, I assure you. I only hope, however, that the soporific nature of his salivary poison does not lead you to forget that it was, indeed, Edouard who you encountered, and not one of the many Public Safety owned gila monsters patrolling campus (I thought that was what peacocks were for?), or, for that matter, any of the indigenous population.
Please. Find me my Edouard. His rats are getting cold.
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