I am so interesting, guys! Seriously, like, your grandmother dying of cancer is nice and all that, but I just got this new pair of sunglasses! Also, let me tell you something about the fine art of tanning. What people do NOT realize.. excuse me sorry I am talking here let me finish my story, your grandmother is already dead her story can wait... so the thing about tanning is you have to rotate sides at least once every thirty minutes! Isn't that fascinating? Aren't I just a well of important facts that you want to drink from deeply, letting my wisdom run down your throat like so much ambrosia and ichor?
I am very cool, you know.
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